Funny Quotes

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People have the right to be stupid.
Some people abuse that privilege.
I can only please one person per day.
Today isn't your day.
& tomorrow don't look good either.
It's not that I'm antisocial.
I just don't like you.
Lets toast to lying, cheating, and stealing.
If your gonna lie, lie for a friend.
If your gonna cheat, cheat death.
If your gonna steal, steal a heart.
If your gonna drink, drink with me.
Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it.
Poof be gone, your breath's too strong.
But wait, come back you need a tic tac
Not 1 not 2, but the whole value pack.
Sorry to be mean, but you need some listerine
Not a sip not a swallow, but the whole freakin bottle.
Heaven won't take me.
& hell's afraid I'll take over.
People that don't know me think I'm shy.
People that do know me wish I were.
'Tis far better to be pissed off.
Than to be pissed on.
Sometimes we know we shouldn't & that's exactly why we do.
Don't piss me off.
I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!
If life hands you lemons, throw them at people.
I'm an angel! Honest!
The horns are just there to keep the halo up straight.

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