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Facebook is the only place where it's acceptable to talk to a wall.
Women are like police.
They can have all the evidence in the world.
But they still want a confession.
Username or Password incorrect.
"TELL ME WHICH ONE YOU S.O.B."
Why is it when you run into a spider web.
You suddenly turn into a ninja?
You know how they say when you die.
Your whole life flashes before you?
Well do you get to see what happened..
all the nights you blacked out?
Facebook is like a fridge.
When you're bored you keep opening & closing it every few minutes to see if there's anything good in it.
A man yells at his wife.
Pack your bags, honey, I just won the lottery.
Oh wonderful!" she says,"
Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?
The husband replies, "I don't care. Just get out"!
If you friend request me on facebook.
& your profile picture is a car.
I will assume you're a transformer.
Good choice putting $4,000 rims on your 1998 Honda Civic.
That's like Betty White going out & getting her boobs done.