It's so hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.
My heart didn't break into a thousand pieces after he left.
Instead, I realized all the things he didn't do.
He didn't want to hear my stories, he didn't ask me questions.
He didn't smile when I was talking to him.
He didn't hug me out of the blue to make me feel good.
His hugs were always a preamble of something else.
& after he was gone, I wondered if he even knew me at all.
It's funny how when you finally get over someone.
You start seeing them in a whole new perspective.
It's like you're looking at them through the eyes of your best friend.
& you realize he's nothing special, he's just another ordinary boy.
After all, computers crash, people die, & relationships fall apart.
The best we can do is breathe & reboot.
Because sometimes there's no easy way out.
You just have to grin & bear it.
Sometimes the only escape route,
is to go straight through the flames.
Just brace yourself & bite your lip.
Sometimes you have to cut the ties.
Clean off because in every relationship.
There comes a point when the damage is too much.
& no matter how good it once was, the memories can't sustain you.
You have to save yourself knowing all the while, it'll hurt like hell.
Because you can't keep giving someone everything if you get nothing in return.
Everyone's heartbroken nowadays.
But I mean, we all just gotta move on.
What's the point of reminiscing when you know the person is no longer worthwhile, when they're no longer who they used to be, when their heart is somewhere else?
Do you think they still care for you, still sit there thinking about you?
Because frankly, they don't.
I can't make your heart feel something it won't.
Numbing the pain for a while..
Will make it worse when you finally feel it.
We both took some wrong turns.
& hurt each other a little too much.
Our stubbornness was what kept us apart,
neither of us wanted to give in.
To forgive the other first.
But in the end, we both lost.
I don't care about how many,
lips you've kissed or how many hands you've held.
I don't care about being your first, I just care about being your last.
A heartbreak isn't always as loud as a bomb exploding.
Sometimes it's like a feather falling,
& the only person who can hear it is you.
But the truth is, if I could be with anyone. I'd still be with you.
That's what everyone says.
There are plenty of other guys out there besides him.
Lots of fish in the sea, sure.
But there's one problem.
Something you don't understand.
None of them can make me feel the way he does.
& I don't want any of those other guys. I just want him.
I hate you, & then I love you.
It's like I want to throw you off a cliff.
Then rush to the bottom to catch you.
Even though I don't think
you've realised how much you've put me through,
I hope one day it hits you hard,
because by then, I'll be completely over you.
Knowing that I can't have you only makes me want you more.
& when you forget her, don't you dare remember me.
Laugh when your eyes are burning.
Smile when your heart is filled with pain. & don't let him know how much you really need him.
I can't stop thinking about what would have
happened if we hadn't given up on each other.
So here's to you & to me,
& to all the things we could never be.
& here's to all the missed calls that weren't really missed at all.